The Power of Speaking Respecftfully
By Anamary Cruz, President and Founder Clinical Social Worker and University Professor
Speaking respectfully is a simple matter. However, when your heart races, your voice trembles, and the fear of being judged or rejected arises, that simplicity becomes a challenge. In my work as a Clinical Social Worker and also as a professor at Ana G. Méndez University, I have seen firsthand how the act of speaking becomes difficult, especially when there is a history of trauma, immigration, or violence behind it. Many people, especially immigrant women, have learned to remain silent to survive. Regaining their voice is, therefore, much more than a communication skill; it is a form of healing.
The concept of assertiveness has been misunderstood for years. It is not about speaking louder than others or imposing an opinion. Nor is it about remaining silent to avoid conflict. Assertive communication is the middle ground between passivity and aggression. It means saying what we think and feel respectfully, clearly, and firmly without hurting or betraying ourselves. However, achieving this balance requires practice, emotional awareness, and, in many cases, educating an internal history marked by silence and guilt.
According to Safwat ElBarazi et al. (2024), the development of assertive skills significantly impacts mental health. In a clinical trial conducted in Egypt with university students, an assertiveness training program showed dramatically reduced levels of anxiety, stress, and depression while increasing the expression of assertive behaviors. Similar results were observed in research with adolescents, where assertiveness training also improved emotional well-being.
These improvements in emotional state correlate with increases in self-esteem and better quality interpersonal relationships. A quasi-experimental study with health students showed that assertiveness fosters self-confidence and respect from others, which is essential for stress management (Speed, Goldstein, & Goldfried, 2017). In addition, academic research establishes a significant relationship between assertiveness, self-esteem, and satisfaction in personal relationships.
In clinical settings, evidence suggests that assertiveness training combining Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) effectively reduces social anxiety and improves self-confidence in both men and women (Speed, Goldstein, & Goldfried, 2017).
In addition, I offer concrete tools for developing this type of communication from an emotional and practical approach in my upcoming book, The Power of Assertive Voice. One of the fundamental keys is learning to say “no” without guilt. Setting boundaries is not selfish; it is protecting our well-being. Another essential tool is emotional regulation. Speaking respectfully does not mean not feeling, but knowing how to express our emotions without letting them overwhelm or disconnect us from others.
It is also essential to identify our communication style. Some people avoid difficult conversations, others explode when they feel overwhelmed, and some adapt so much to the needs of others that they forget their own. Recognizing these patterns is the first step to transforming them. Healthy communication is communication that comes from awareness, empathy, and authenticity.
It is not about applying magic formulas but about connecting with a part of ourselves that has been silenced. Speaking with respect, firmness, and truth transforms more than our relationships: it transforms our lives. When we regain our voice, we regain our dignity. Words become a bridge, not only to others but to ourselves.
That’s why I insist your words matter. Your issues of truth, too. And your voice... has always been yours.
